Above is the appropriate way for a mid 20-o-nite to behave. As I stated earlier, it is still a transitional phase. There are moments where a laps in judgement is involved and you drink to the point of embarrassment, achieve a ridiculous hangover, and hate text your ex boyfriend. Its all about transition. Before becoming a mid 20s woman, life was simple, blurry, and fucking awesome. Hangovers did not exist and day drinking was mandatory. Secretly we still wish to be 21, but our age prevents us from acting like a fool. The glory days are officially over. It is no longer acceptable to be "the obnoxious drunk girl"
We all have been deemed "The Obnoxious Drunk Girl." I have more times than I'm willing to admit. Just ask my friends. Turning 21 is like a little boy's first wet dream. You have no clue what is going on, but you realize the potential of awesome this new found freedom possesses. No more fake IDs, double X stamps, or pestering your older friends to buy you alcohol. The glory of showing that valid ID without Mohamed giving you "the stare" is the most exhilarating experience a newly legal drinker will ever have. You finally have the freedom to drink in excess without the worry of cops and nosey bouncers. You can attend class with the same attire from the night before. Who gives a shit? You're 21 and awesome!
"Why thank you douche bag for this free drink! I can now avoid you until I want another."
"SHIT! Why did i hook up with that guy?"
When you're 21 it"s OK to be a careless asshole. Being kicked out of bars is the norm and you losing your car is the daily routine. You wear obscene amounts of makeup and dress like a hooker. No worries, It's allowed. You never get offended by being called a skanky whore, lets face it, you are all disgusting trolls. You gather your trashy posse, get hagged out, and go to the bar. After a shot or ten at fifty cent drink night the jackassary commences. You and your fellow hood rats begin riding the hot mess express. For those of you who don't know what that means here is a little description:
Hot Mess Express: A group of sexy, hard-drinking bitches that hit the streets to cause chaos and partake in debauchery. Thank you slango.
An hour into the night you and your friends find a bar top, dance floor, cage, or any other area that will draw attention to your private parts. Once the location is found you and your hoe patrol begin to grind, turnpike, and any other disgusting dances that will get you noticed by perverted, horny guys. 21 year olds are known for their class. In The midst of this trannie-esque mosh-pit there is only one who creates the ultimate blackout magic. Sure, all the girls are drunk, sloppy trash bags, but there is only one who takes the crown. The one who surpasses the limit of social acceptability and is deemed the belligerent ass hole. Yes. That's right, "the obnoxious drunk girl.' She is the 7th wonder of the world. A vile and disgusting creature who creeps us all out. She trollops around believing she is cute and fabulous because everyone is staring. Little does she know, those staring are confused and frightened of this ridiculous enigma. The following are 10 attributes of the quintessential obnoxious drunk girl:
1) The English language does NOT exists: When having the unfortunate task of speaking with the obnoxious drunk girl, you have no idea what the fuck she is saying. All you see is mouth movement and drool.
2) Her balance is that of a newborn baby: Honestly have you ever seen an obnoxious drunk girl walk? NO! because she cant
3) She will fall on the dance floor, refuse to get up, and drunk text a rando: All this bitch does is take up primo dance floor space. She is too busy texting on her ass. She wont move, get up, or crawl out of the way. The only thing making you feel better about this situation is that you are not on the receiving end of her text.
4)Her vagina and nipples will be showing: At this point people start to question weather or not she is from Jersey. Someone forgot to wax
5)She will probably barf in her best friends passenger seat: Mother of god! Now the best friend has to clean up this puke and give her a new shirt. This actually happened
6) NO guy will be desperate enough to sleep with her: All guys are shallow, stupid, and horny. With that being on her side, still, no bastard will stomach a lay from this dirty sloth
7) She WILL cry: Kill me right now! I cant deal.
8) Jager bomb crust will be on her shirt: As I stated before, she is a slop. Now she looks it
9) She will scare everyone: Holy Shit! it's the obnoxious drunk girl. RUN
10)She will receive a nickname from her embarrassed friends: Mine is PR, it stands for penis repellent
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